`taon

HZ Posted - 01 February 2004 18:40
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9 should be "Every boy is a potential..."

Also, you are doing all these things to him. Lo sitain Michshal. And you cause him to do very disgusting things that are very spirtuily damaging to him and the world. And more..

HZ Posted - 01 February 2004 18:40
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Oh yeah, Bitul Torah is another big one.

Punims Posted - 01 February 2004 20:15
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72) you slowly start changing for them - listen to their type of music, watch their movies, dress in their type of clothes, you lose your personality.

73)Everytime you think of marriage, you picture that one guy - and after you break up with him, you live in denial for a long time.

74) After one, you can't live without a guy - it's much harder than if you never started.

75) No matter how much you want to get away from them, there's always some guy somewhere that you'll bump into that you know, or that calls you... you're always known in their crowd.

76)People don't believe that you've really changed. "She talks to boys" follows you everywhere.

77)People think that everything you say, you only know because you 'have a past'. They don't believe you'd be like this if you never spoke to a guy before.

frumalltheway Posted - 01 February 2004 20:15
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yeah, feel free to add.

Nelly Posted - 02 February 2004 8:55
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frumalltheway- kol hakovod! that was great and I'm sure you really benefited from writing that all out...

main thing is- all guys are SHB's. End of story. [sick horny @%$^#s]. and you cannot encourage them by talking to them!!!

goodgirl Posted - 02 February 2004 8:55
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thanx I needed that- I was in the moodto get myself in trouble (although don't worry even without this it wouldn't happen, I'm a good girl)- some of them I'm not sure about though- some guys must be decent (although maybe they're not the ones who talk to girls)

HZ Posted - 02 February 2004 8:55
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Didn't think you'd mind.

HZ Posted - 02 February 2004 15:02
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Nelly, that should read "All guys are potential...."

When I was in Yeshiva I thought guys and girls didn't talk.

angel Posted - 02 February 2004 17:39
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I really have to object to a lot of those things, boys have feelings too + all the things that you said are huge generalisations! you would'nt like it if a boy put up a forum that said 71 reasons not to talk to girls and then proceeded to slag them off. I think that there are nicer ways u could get your message across!

HZ Posted - 03 February 2004 13:26
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I'm a boy. And I'm sensative. This doesn't bother me though. Maybe because it's true. The gemarah says that an unmarried man lives all his days in sin.

jew@heart Posted - 03 February 2004 13:26
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Okay angel
I think your pushing it you know the 71 and all the added ones were extreamely good. I think you have a bf and are trying to be in denial, well don't be it's not worth it!!!! you have reasons staring at you from ur screeen and your just rationalizing with yourself forget your hostility for a second and realise how right these things are they are really good and I'm sorry if you can't feel that right now but think about them... good luck to you!

Lsheva Posted - 03 February 2004 13:26
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hey there! very insulted I also helped you! not just AM! just joking, nice going!

frumalltheway Posted - 03 February 2004 13:26
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ok angel, whatever works for you, but that's hard- I'm sry if I hurt or inslulted or generalized or whatevr.

Nelly Posted - 03 February 2004 13:26
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it takes alot of work for guys to get themselves to the level where they aren't shb's. Or they just grow out of it. but your regular 13-20 something y.o guy will have the thoughts, feelinga etc...
we are not faulting the guys, or being mean, but simply tryin to educate naiive girls who think "Oh, THIS guy is DIFFERENT" becuase they're all like that, and if you don't know it, you'll learn it- the hard way.

1) It's assur (the source is in the Igros Moshe, and somwhere else)
2) Most parents don't let, and if they find out they'll kill you, you'll lose all your privileges, it takes years to build up trust and a only a second of doubt to lose it
3) You risk getting caught by, and being thrown out of, your school
4) You lose interest in your friends who will start to feel neglected, and hate you
5) You ruin you reputation. No one wants a bad one, and once your stuck with it, it's hard to get rid of it
6) You WILL NOT stay shomer negiyah, which is also assur
7) The guy is 100% talking bad about you to his frineds in one way or another
8)All a guy wants at this age is play-and hell use you for that
9)Every boy is a liar, a pervert, a jerk, and you will eventually find this out
10)A guy will say anything-just to get you in bed
11)They occupy your whole mind-you'll be thinking about them 24/7
12)You WILL regret anything you do with him
13)IF you have the reputation for talking to boys, your friends will get the same one, why would you want to do that to them?
14) At this age you say that you want a guy like this, etc..when you get older your priorities will change and you might have hard time by shidduchim
15)Besides for just the obvious, you do so mnyn other aviros cus of this-you lie-you get mad..
16)Boys give you wayyyy too much confidence, and you get self centered
17)You trick yourself into thinking you love him, but realy it's just artificial
18)Imagine kissing your husband, and thinking 'The last time i was doing this it was with XYZ'
19)You're always thinking about when he's gonna call, you can't think about anything else
20)You start slacking off in school
21)The later you stop, the worse off you are
22)You think he's helping you, but he's only bringing you down
23)You try to justify your talking to him, but you end up looking stupid.
24)They make you think it's cool-it's sooo not-who respects you for talking to boys??
25)You start dressing to impress them, and you think you look so hot and everything but meanwhile you're like the skank of the town
26)A guy will probably be oiver baal keri because of you,, and that's like one of the worst averiros, and I'm sure we get part of it
27)You'll drag your friends to lower levels
28)You regret that he could be such a great guy if not for you
29)You're going to casue him to suffer a lot--why do you wanna do that to him? And later on when he regrets it, he'll hate you for it
30)You will always be living with a guilty conscience
31) You might set boundaries for yourself, but you're gonna slowly pass each one of them
32)You become desensitized to all the shmutz out there
33)You pass a certain naivity you'll never get back to
34)YOU CAN NEVER NEVER NEVER TRUST A BOY
35) You might start out talking to one but you'll end up talking to many--like his friends
36)When you stop, you'll suffer so much, you'll feel like you're dead and you'll wish you'd never known him!
37)You will probably end up at some point on bad terms, or hating each other
38)You start talking, thinking and acting like a guy
39)You can never just chill out, you always wanna be with him, and think about him,, and everything
40)Think about how mean the guys are-if they call when we're doing something we stop and talk to themm, but when we call, we're like the last on their list
41) You can't be a complete girl around guys-they never undersatnd
42) You become dependant on them, when really they are the lsat thing you need.
43) Think about it-in 3 or 4 years you're gonna get married and be tied to someone forever-enjoy the free time you have now-have fun with your friends-be a girl
44) Think about how much more fun you have when you're with friend all hyper and evrything, than when your' ejust sitting with him by a movie
45) If you care about him enough, you wouldn't do this to him
46) If he cares about you enough, he wouldn't do this to you
47) You lose purity that you can never get bak
48) Your friends help you grow and are there for you, all a guy can do for you is make you feel sexy(AM)
49) Whatever you do, your kids are going to do, it always ends up like that, would you want your kids doing what you're doing?
50)They have the biggest influence over you, and it can get risky
51) You probably deserve a much more amazing guy than him
52) Think about the schar you'll get for not talking to him
53) Stop pretending you want it so much, how good can it be if there are so mnay people out there willing to do anything to stop you
54)Do you want to have to compare the kiss of the one you truly love to the one who pretended to respect you just so he could get to french you?
55)If you do this till 12th grade, chances are youll never stop, and you can get married to the wrong guy and have an awful marriage
56) If he is your bashert he will come back to you
57)Girls are stupid. We know this. We know guys use us and how gross they are but we ignore it until they do something to us, then we get all hysetrical, don't be stupid
58)You might think it's ok to do what you do, but look at it from the eys of a stranger--do you really think that's appropriate?
59)Look at all the girls who do and don't-comprae and contrast
60)After all you do for them, all they do is call you a zoooooyyyynah
61) Even though you think he loves you and you love him, it's just your hormones, they're all wacked up
62)They are not even ashamed of themselves for all they do
63)They have no life all they do is look at ----------uummm-pritzus-all day long.
64)They know that we know all this and still try to pretend they aren't like that
65)Why do you think so many people wish they could change their past??
66)YOU ARE NOT MARRYING HIM
67)Somehow no matter who does the dumping the girl always ends up being hurt
68)Remember, while you think it's fun and enjoyable to think about him and all the fun you shared, you just keep prolonging your obsession which, no matter how fun it may be in the middle of your relationship, when you break up, it'll completaly take over your mind and destroy you
69)Hirhurim are also an aveirah(lo sassur acharie...eineichem)
70)(SH)When your zivug is made in shamayim 40 days before you are born, you fit together like 2 peices of a puzzle. They click right into place. but in every immoral relationship you have(not for the sake of marriage) you break off pieces from the puzzle, so later on when you get to your zivug, the pieces won't fit exactly, they'll have a crack here and there or a dent--it's pretty freaky, no????
71)Remember, a guy who kisses you all the time is not the one who cares about you, the one who stops is the real tadi, and the one who really cares for you(or himself)

(I didn't mean to offend any guys, I wrote it for myself.)

goodgirl Posted - 05 February 2004 11:36 jew@heart- i dont think angle was nessisarily generalizing. there are some amazing boys out there-they just rnt the 1s u would talk 2. i have a least 1 bro who isnt a perverted jerk (unless u have a problem w/ him not saying good shabbos 2 u in which case u cant get e/t)

HZ Posted - 05 February 2004 21:12 Even the best boys have trouble with girls. Dovid Hamelech "controlled" his Yetzer Hara and had almost trouble with Avigayil (she stopped him) and had trouble with Bassheva.

Sorry to sound harsh, but to say we are not close sounds defensive.

mir girl Posted - 05 February 2004 21:12 I just red now the 71 reasons, (sorry i knw its late, but good late then never). Its really good , how did u think of so many stuff? We dont even realize how many bad things it includs in talking to the other sex.

frumalltheway Posted - 08 February 2004 15:20 after i stopped, my frends pointed out alot if these things abt me, and some i reliased on my own,, .... the truth is not all apply to all people obviosly,, i wrote it for myslef,, so if i have the tayva ever , ill just look at those reasons

2frum2b4U Posted - 16 February 2004 12:50 hey that was pretty good!!!!!!! I recognize it from somewhere?! i think that no normal person can argue on wat u wrote but im sure u can understand how difficult it is 2 overcome!! especilly wen some1 misleads u 2 their feelings 4 a while!!! hope u r doin well enjoy!

chokeonaraindrop Posted - 17 February 2004 20:54 im sorta confused u keep on talking as if every guy u talk to is a guy ur dating
how does talking = dating
p.s. i dont know what bad experience u went through with a guy but i hope e/t is ok now i respect that ur not talking to guys anymore and i wish u the best of luck

frumalltheway Posted - 17 February 2004 20:54 2frum2b4u-
shutup
maybe u shud think abt them or show them to ur girl.
sometimes ppl do what i do-they dont mean to and they think they r doing nothing wrong but sometimes we grls forget how a guys mind works. and wen i screw somehitn up,, i try to correct it,, and thats what i did.

frumalltheway Posted - 18 February 2004 7:35 and,, will u ever let me live that down????????????????????????????????????
ok, chokdeonaraindrop--usually, in most cases u end up dating or the equivelent of datig in the frum world,, like basicly ur togethr but u dont go out,, but after a while u start going out,, wtvr it usualy leads one hting to tthe next.*usually

penguins*rock Posted - 23 February 2004 9:12 to all the ppl who thought it may be offensive 2 guys- its not. they have a stronger yetzer hara and even the greatest of men can be seduced. also the stronger a person yetzer hara is the more complimentary it is 2 them b/c God only gives ppl tests that they can overcome-the harder the test- the higher level ur on- CONGRATS... #70sumtin: dont u want 2 be B"H ur husband's "first" so that he cant compare... im sure he wants the same of u! also, its not worth all the time and energy now-- save it 4 a couple of years and unleash it after ur weddin. MAZAL TOV ;)

manda Posted - 03 March 2004 12:55 woah girls what is ya'lls problems!!! who takes up the time to think of 71 reasons why we girls shouldn't hang out with guys. seriously not all guys are . i mean they have thoughts but so do we admit it..u know its true.

edgarallenpoe Posted - 03 March 2004 12:55 also its funny that you only bothered correcting 'usually'

Maidel123 Posted - 04 March 2004 8:52 While I agree that there are many negative elements of guys and girls talking for no particular reason (i.e., 'tachlis'-and real tachlis not the fake delusional kind)...it is also important not to paint the opposite gender as evil or anything of that sort. Not just because it's not nice, but because I'm not sure I understand how, for example, a girl would make the change from thinking guys are scum etc. etc. to thinking that THE guy is the one with whom you'll share so many things-a relationship as a couple, builders of a Jewish home, builders of a Jewish family...so while members of the opposite gender may not be APPROPRIATE they are not inherently CH"V evil. Just a thought to keep in mind.

MODERATOR Posted - 04 March 2004 9:18 Guys arent "evil". Evil is only when you choose something, not if Hashem made you a certain way. That having been said, it is clear in all our Mussar seforim as well as in Chazal and Poskim, including the Shulchan Aruch, that men should "stay far, far away from women" unless necessary, because of the likelihood that trouble will happen. And that applies to all men.

Nelly Posted - 05 March 2004 9:24 who takes the time? a girl who is working towards becoming a better bat yisroel.

her efforts were commendable, and her points valid...manda, you shouldnt have said what you did. her list helped herself and others...